What is Love?

Elli was up every hour last night and we were sitting on the couch in the playroom at 6:30 when Lex came to join us. We're the morning people in the family and it was a tender moment. Part of our conversation was just so cute I had to write it down right away:

Lex: Elliana, I love you.
Me: Lex, what does love mean?
Lex: It means if somebody else hurts their feelings, we say we love them to make them feel better.
Me: Do you love Elli?
Lex: Yes.
Me: How do you know?
Lex: Because she's so cute.
Me: Do you love Daddy?
Lex: Yes.
Me: How do you know?
Lex: Because he helps me.
Me: Do you love Tayedon?
Lex: Yes.
Me: How do you know?
[a pause]
Lex: Because he sleeps with me in my room. That's a good one.
Me: Yes it is.
Lex: And mom. Do you know how I love you?
Me: How?
Lex: Because you help me too. And feed me.
Me: I feed you a lot!
Lex: And you love me because I help you too.
Me: That helps me like you, but I love you even if you're having a grumpy day.

I've been philosophizing about love again lately - I think it's because I've been singing "The Rose" to Elli every night to put her to sleep - it has a nice mellow sound.
When I was a teenager, I remember trying to get a definition of love I was comfortable with. I was even silly enough to crank call some strangers from the phone book and pretend I was someone taking a survey and asked their definition - we didn't have yahoo answers back then:)
Anyway, I created a definition I was happy with - Love means that you care more about someone else's well-being than your own.
That's lasted me a long time - I even think our pets do in some way. However, I realize my children aren't capable of this type of love. Just like sympathy comes before empathy, they have a more basic feeling. I think a more basic form of love is that you would not want to live without that person. It may be a more selfish version, but the strength of the emotion makes a child's love just as powerful.
Perhaps that's why the divorce rate in this country is so high. If people haven't evolved in their love, then their marriage can't endure through those days when maybe you would like to envision your life without that person for a little while.

Lex has finished his book, Elli is finally in need of a new diaper, and Taye is waking up . . . my philosophizing will continue in my head but not through my hands.